How to Talk to Your Child About a Missing Friend After the Floods in Texas

By Kelly Peyton, MA, LPC‑S, RPT‑S | Clinical Director, Katy Counseling

In the aftermath of the recent storms and devastating floods across Texas, many families in our Katy and greater Houston community are struggling to find the words to help their children process the heartbreak and fear of missing friends.

As a trauma-informed therapist and a parent myself, I know how incredibly painful it is to watch a child try to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. For many children this might be the first time they’re facing such a sudden, confusing, and scary event. And for some, it’s deeply personal, because a friend is missing.

Here are some compassionate, age-appropriate ways to support your child through this.

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💬 1. Be honest, but gentle.

Children in this age range can understand difficult truths, but they still think in very concrete terms. Use simple, clear language:

“We don’t know where [friend’s name] is right now. Lots of grownups are helping and searching.”

Avoid phrases like “lost” or “gone to sleep,” which can confuse or even scare kids more.

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🧠 2. Give space for their emotions.

Let them feel. Let them ask. Let them cry. Or not.

Some children may ask a thousand questions. Others may shut down. You can gently say:

“It’s okay to feel sad, mad, confused, or scared. I’m right here with you.”

Even if they don’t talk about it, they’re feeling it. Watch for signs like trouble sleeping, clinginess, headaches, tummy aches, or acting out.

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🧸 3. Use stories, drawings, or play to help them express.

At Katy Counseling, we often use play and creative tools to help kids move through trauma. At home, you can offer:

• Drawing pictures of their friend
• Writing a letter to their friend or putting it in a “Hope Jar”
• Making a memory book or story
• Role-playing with dolls or stuffed animals

These kinds of activities give kids a way to show what they can’t always say.

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🕰️ 4. Keep routines when possible.

Routines give children a sense of safety and predictability—even when the world doesn’t feel safe. Keep bedtimes, mealtimes, and rituals (like reading together or packing a lunch) consistent when you can.

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🌈 5. Hold hope, but don’t make promises.

It’s okay to hope. It’s okay to pray. But don’t promise an outcome you can’t guarantee.

You might say:

“We’re all hoping that [friend’s name] is found. People are working hard. And it’s also okay to feel scared or worried.”

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📚 6. Use books to help explain and connect.

Here are a few age-appropriate books that can help:

• A Terrible Thing Happened by Margaret Holmes
• When Something Terrible Happens by Marge Heegaard
• What Do You Do With a Problem? by Kobi Yamada

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🚨 7. Know when it’s time for extra support.

If your child is:

• Avoiding school or friends
• Having frequent nightmares or regressions
• Seeming withdrawn or overly aggressive
• Not able to return to normal routines

…it might be time to talk to a trauma-informed child therapist.

At Katy Counseling, our child therapists specialize in helping children process big emotions, especially after traumatic events. You don’t have to figure this out alone—we’re here to help you and your child navigate this, one step at a time.

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💛 Final Thought

As parents, we want to protect our children from pain. But when we can’t protect them from the storm, we can hold them through it.

If you’re not sure what your child needs, or if you simply need a place to start, we’re offering free parent consultations this month for families affected by the flooding. Reach out anytime.

here are a few additional resources That may also be helpful:

Early Childhood Disaster-Related Resources for Children and Families | The Administration for Children and Families

Talking-to-Childen-About-Death-and-Dying_NAGC.pdf

Talking-to-Children-About-Death.pdf

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Kelly Peyton, MA, LPC-S, RPT-S
Clinical Director, Katy Counseling
📍 633 E Fernhurst Dr. Ste. 1102, Katy, TX 77450
📞 832-406-4304 | 🌐 www.katycounseling.com